My sister

Let the record show : this is my first poem to my sister

 

 

She is a kid.

Or is she..

She’s a beautiful kid…

Yes she is.

We never got to be close.

We never really fit …

She was my mother’s.

I was my father’s.

She grew up slowly,

I grew up too fast.

Somewhere between the lines …

Sisterhood was lost.

We lived together, ate together and knew each other …

Yet we never felt we loved each other.

Until the day her annoying laugh was in another country …

Until the day I went through her stuff…

I used to hate how disorganized her room was.

Going through her things, I saw myself …

My 13 year old self.. in my sister’s stuff …

I suddenly realized how harsh I was on her …

It was almost as harsh as I was on myself ..

Sure , I wanted the best for her …

But the question remains, do I know what is the best for her ?

No, no one does …

The time she was alone and I could not help her …

I felt sorry … she was right by me and I did nothing…

Now that she is miles away, I wish I had …

I wish I could …

The time she had to swallow her heartbreak and go on …

I should’ve bought you chocolate, kid!

The time you bought me my birthday gift …

I know that you reached out once …

I’m sorry I didn’t open my arms then, kid!

The time you told me about your crazy dreams …

I Shouldn’t have laughed, kid!

The time you wanted to look pretty…

Should’ve let you have that make up sweetie …

Should’ve said you didn’t need it … but here it is if you really want it ..

Should’ve helped you with understanding the world as it ..

Oh, well ..

That one I may not have been so able to do ..

But we would have gotten lost together …

 

I should’ve let you borrow more of my books,

Should’ve told you abt the shit I did in high school

Maybe you would then see me as your friend …

A screwed up friend that is, but still .. a friend …

Someone you can call when you’re bored …

Someone you can tell about how your pants don’t fit anymore …

My sister grw up …

My sister grew up to be beautiful .. strong .. smart and hard working …

My sister makes me proud …

My sister is one of the most important people on earth …

My sister … grew up without a sister …

My sister … may never forgive her negligente sister …

 

And yet , listen to this,Kid!

 

 

I don’t know, sweety…

As every other elder sister can tell you …

We don’t know …. We don’t know how to reach you …

We have no clue what we are supposed to do …

Being an older sister

You don’t get a booklet of how tht ought to be …

You just one day become an older sister …

Yet, the guidelines are those of yourself …

No can show you how … no one can tell you how it’ll feel ….

Kiddo,

This is me reaching out to you ..

Dearest…

Now that you are not that much of a kid …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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